The Road Not Taken

Hasids vs. Hipsters. Really?

The Hasids, who have long had a huge enclave in the now-artist-haven neighborhood, had complained that the Bedford Avenue bike paths posed both a safety and religious hazard.

Scantily clad hipster cyclists attracted to the Brooklyn neighborhood made it difficult, the Hasids said, to obey religious laws forbidding them from staring at members of the opposite sex in various states of undress. These riders also were disobeying the traffic laws, they complained.

Good thing car drivers never disobey traffic laws, or they'd have to get rid of the roads entirely, right?

What's a hipster, anyway?

This is, believe it or not, incredibly troubling for the Hasidim in the South Williamsburg neighborhood, who have apparently been objecting to the bike lanes since the city began putting them in.

So what did the Hasids do to address the problem of the biking hipsters? Relying on the democratic process like any good American, they asked the city to remove the bike lanes, that's how. And, since the mayoral election was approaching, Michael Bloomberg said ok.

Because the Hasids were not going to vote for Bloomberg otherwise?

Not to be outdone, the hipsters employed several tactics. Like riding around the neighborhood in flesh-colored body suits. Or so it appears. I don't really know if this picture has any relation to the Hasid-hipster bike lane brouhaha, but heck, it's pretty darn funny if it does. So we're going with it. And from a Hasidic perspective, can it be any worse than a girl in shorts?

Lately, however, the hipsters have tried something new - covertly (ok, not so much) repainting the lanes.

You know what's coming. That's right, following in the vigilante spirit of the day, the Hasids went all Judah Maccabee and made a citizen's arrest:

Two cycling advocates were apprehended by the Shomrim Patrol, a Hasidic neighborhood watch group, as they repainted a section of bike lane at 3:30 a.m. yesterday, but when cops arrived, no one was arrested and no summonses were issued, police said.

So I guess that's a draw. But the battle rages on.

It's a good thing, then, that South Williamsburg has Baruch Herzfeld. That's Baruch to the left. Seriously. And he's the owner of a local bicycle shop - go figure! - who's trying to broker peace in the great Hasidic-Hipster Bike War. As important a quality as you can have in a mediator, Baruch is known for being balanced. On the bike. As for dispute resolution - well, maybe not so much (not that there's anything wrong with that).

But Baruch Herzfeld, who has tried to bridge the gap between hipsters and Hasids with a bike-rental program, said safety is not the issue so much as xenophobia.

"They don't want the hipsters in their neighborhood," he said. "It's like in Howard Beach back in the day when they didn't want black people in the neighborhood."

Ah, the good old days.

Happy Hanukkah!